Truth or Dare
by Vampire Catfish1
Summary: After kissing him and then some at the office Christmas party, Mathia Kohler wishes to forget Allistor Kirkland was ever on her radar, but when a friend dares her to kiss a certain Kirkland for his birthday, a dare whose forfeit price is too great for her to break, the consequences could be dangerous for all involved. ScotlandXfemDenmark. AU - CRACK - Rating will go up.
1. Prologue - Kissing Arthur Kirkland

Another new story! :)

You can probably already guess which Kirkland is which, but just to clarify:  
Allistor Kirkland - Scotland  
Arthur Kirkland - England  
Dylan Kirkland - Wales  
Paddy Kirkland - Ireland  
Mathia Kohler - femDenmark

Just a warning - rating will change around chapter 4 or 5.

A gazillion thanks again to my beta reader The Maiden of Autumn :3

Please check out the poll on my profile.

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The women sat around the table, drinking from tall glasses and reminiscing over their past year together.

All of them were high class, each of them having broken the 'non-existent' glass ceiling by the time they were twenty-five to go on to work for some of the biggest name companies in the city. Not to mention the fact they were some of the highest-earning women as well, which was one of the reasons why they had booked the penthouse suite for the only day of the year they let their hair loose.

Margaritas in the morning, beer at lunch, cocktails in the afternoon, and then moving onto whatever was left lying around by the time they were dead drunk in the evening. It was silly fun that helped them relive their uni days and made them feel young again. All of them were total career women, never having time for romance unless it was on the job. The only reason two out of the seven of them even _had_ rings on their fingers was because they married co-workers. Mathia had never understood the appeal of it though – why would you want to be in a relationship with someone you work with? Especially if that person was someone you argued with on a daily basis.

She shook her head slightly. She wouldn't think about that...

The women were currently in the last stage of their drinking, which had tended to grow more dangerous over the years the richer they got, as the more expensive penthouses always had well stocked bars with good, heavy alcohol.

They had a game they would play. Another silly thing they had been doing since uni and yet had kept up as it always brought them together, no matter what - Truth or Dare.

The rules of the game were absolute, and the consequences of forfeiting would be so severe that it was not even worth considering. But there was a loophole. If you had yet to carry out your dare and only one person could remember the dare in the morning, you didn't have to do it.

Which brought us to this, Mathia's dare.

The women stared hungrily at the dare-giver. They always reacted the same way, for every potential dare, every year. It really could grow boring, even though there was always an under-lying tremor of nervousness in each of them.

"I dare you... Hmm..." Sarah put a finger to her lips, pretending to think on it, teasing them even though they all knew she was the type who thought up her dares weeks in advance. "Kiss Kirkland."

All the women -bar herself- started whooping and cheering, laughing and clapping as she forced herself not to flush. Biting her lip, she met eyes with Sarah, who stared back with a knowing smile.

They all thought they knew about her 'crush' on Allistor Kirkland, but they were _so_ wrong. Just because they argued a lot in the meeting room and would go out to lunch together with a group of other co-workers, and just because she sort-of-kind-of got off with him at the Christmas party did _not_ mean she had a thing for him. She was the senior team manager and he was a department head, and, sexy or not, just because he was the only man she actually got on well with did not mean she had a thing for him.

He was a fucking good kisser though, she'd give him that...

_Urgh..._She did not just think that...

She tried to clear her brain of the thick alcohol buzz, focusing again on Sarah, who was still staring at her with a shit-eating grin.

"_Arthur_ Kirkland," she said slowly, savouring the words and the shocked reactions from the other women.

Mathia ignored the flicker of disappointment in her stomach and took a long drink of her something and orange, smirking at Sarah as if to say she'd enjoy the challenge.

Though really, Arthur Kirkland? Out of the four Kirkland brothers, she had to choose the vest-wearing prude that resided down in the archives, who was obsessed with tea and took part in creepy war re-enactments. Sure, all four of the Kirklands were attractive enough, but Paddy and Dylan were generally better than their youngest brother when it came to everything, apart from archive organising, obviously.

And don't even get her started on Allistor Fucking Kirkland (she hated how good those three words sounded together.)

_Well, whatever, _she thought as she gave up trying to suave and sexy in front of the other women and threw back the drink. _It was just one kiss..._

She groaned, clutching a hand to her head. Walking out of her bedroom in her underwear and a large shirt, her feet padding softly on the heated marble floor, she found the other six women seated around the kitchen table; most of them were eating cardboardy wholemeal toast or whey bread or some weird crap she never had time for.

That was another silly thing they did. Every morning of the next day, hungover, they would crowd around the table and laugh about what happened the night before, while also writing out all the dares they could remember.

She slipped onto the last chair, grabbed a red apple and took a bite while Sarah took out her phone, sliding the list towards Mathia with a slow grin. Her eyes quickly scanned it as she chewed, dread pooling in her stomach, and sure enough, fourth one down:

_Kiss Arthur Kirkland_

"Hey, Dylan." Sarah was also one of those annoying types that knew everyone. "You couldn't possibly tell us where your little brother is, now could you?"

_Fuck..._


	2. 1 - So, a Blonde Chick Walks into a Bar

Allistor sighed, rolling his eyes at the other three Kirkland's as started to scan the room. They had been there for about two hours now, and he was already bored. Arthur had a habit of picking dingy pubs where no woman would ever tread for his birthday outings, and he really was growing tired of it as a yearly tradition. Artie didn't need to be taken out on his birthday – he always got so pissed that he never remembered it anyway.

Two regulars sat in the booth farthest away from them. Apart from those two, the bartender and his mutant dog that looked like it had been birthed in a sewer, the four brothers were the only people in the place. Not that it mattered. The place was so bleak that Allistor was sure not even a gaggle of Vegas dancers could brighten the place up.

Energy-saving light bulbs pooled dimly from the bar walls, one above every booth, and a quiet TV behind the bar which would screech with static every now and then, as well as what little was left of the day light trickling in through the dirtied windows was all that lit the place. The seats, which he was sure were once imitation red velvet, were ripped and torn, some with their stuffing pulled so far out it looked almost inhuman to leave them like that. Four booths lined the wall on their side, with the bar on the far side of the room was no bigger than the one they had at home, but Artie always insisted he wanted an 'authentic English pub' and so dragged them out every year.

A dying fruit machine that sat mournfully behind their booth would ring out every now and then, and Paddy was already so drunk that he was shouting at it to shut up every time it went off. Dylan had joined him quickly, being the second of them to drop into the realms of drunkenness. Allistor was actually proud of wee Artie for a few seconds before he remembered he was watching his drinks.

Putting his chin in his palm, he swigged another mouthful of whiskey from the grimy glass while watching Dylan and Paddy drunkenly push each other in the seat across from him. Artie was nursing a pint, whining something about some girl named Ali (probably a co-worker) while Allistor made non-committal sounds of agreement.

He sighed again. The things he did for family.

Going by the track record for these 'outings', they'd still be here for at least another two hours before a drunken Artie would decide that the best course of action would be to go bowling, or go-cart racing, or some other nonsense activity that wouldn't be available at one am. For the past few years it had been golf.

He really could not wait.

After that, he would pack them all in to a taxi, tuck them all into bed and then he could finally pass out, done with his brotherly duties for the year.

At least, that's what he thought was going to happen. But the moment the goddess known as Mathia Kohler walked through the door of the pub, dressed in her usual black-on-red suit, he knew there was no way he was going to let the night go as planned.

He sat up, a grin breaking out as he downed his drink and slid out of the booth, clapping Artie on the shoulder before making his way to the bar, not taking his eyes from her, drinking in everything about her presence. She was so hot it was almost a crime. The woman could wear a bin bag to a night club and she'd still be the sexiest thing in the room.

To be honest, he'd always liked her, but then, who wouldn't? A great ass, fantastic legs and a killer rack, not to mention confident sexy eyes that he really couldn't get enough of. And blonde... He had a thing for blondes... Especially blondes who had an incredibly kinky habit of biting their lips when they were thinking hard, something she seemed to do a lot round him. Not that he was complaining.

He smirked as he ran his eyes over, not bothering to hide his obvious lust, and smirked slowly. "Hey." He purred slightly.

"Allistor." She replied coolly, not looking at him as he slid into the seat next to her. He guessed she was still angry about their sort-of make-out session in the office broom closet that had resulted in him thinking about her every goddamn minute he found his mind wandering.

"Now what's a pretty thing like you doin' in a place like this?"

She glanced at him, looking annoyed, her face asking '_really?_' before shifting in her seat. "Am I not allowed a drink?"

He smirked. "Not in a place like this, you ain't, love."

_Kirklands_. She thought, almost shaking her head. Each one was as bad as the other. She knew exactly how Allistor was, and knew it was dangerous to be talking to him. He had a certain way of making her reveal herself, be it her mind or her body, and she couldn't let him know that she had come here tonight too see a certain Kirkland about his birthday.

"A beer, please." She said to the bartender, who looked more like the kind of man you would expect to be wrestling professionally.

She quirked a brow at Paddy, Arthur and Dylan, who began belting out 'God Save the Queen' with their arms wrapped around each others shoulder. "Are they going to be okay?" She asked with a cute crease in her brow.

He looked back to them, smirking as their swaying had begun to rock their side of the booth back and forth. "Aye, fair point, actually." He sighed as he ran a hand through his hair.

Not knowing what to make of that answer, she picked up her beer and raised it to her lips. Noticing the ring of grime around the mouth of it, she thought twice and lowered it, frowning slightly. "I seemed to have made a mistake in coming here."

"Tell me about it." He flashed her a smile and turned, leaning on the side of the bar with one arm. "I've gotta take this lot home soon." He jabbed a thumb in the direction of his brothers. "But you wouldny 'appen tae be doin' anythin' later?"

She blushed, amazed at the speed he worked. She had been here not five minutes and he'd already made his move. But what did she expect? He was Allistor Kirkland, after all. "I can probably spare some time." She replied, more snootily than she'd intended. It didn't seem to bother him though, as he broke into a grin.

"Great." He said, clapping her on the shoulder like she'd just agreed to fix his car. "Be right back then." He winked at her before heading off to the bathroom.

She really couldn't believe him...Why she was even remotely attracted to him in the first place, apart from his obvious good looks and annoyingly charming personality, was beyond her. She sighed as she flashed her beer another look. Maybe she was just really shallow...

The thought caused her to frown and she shook her head, forcing herself to focus on what she came to do. She turned on her seat, staring at the Kirkland's booth before sucking in her gut and striding towards them.

"Hey." She said, smiling. Paddy and Dylan stared at her, open-mouthed, both of them probably thinking exactly the same as Allistor, only, they were too polite to say it out loud.

She turned her eyes to Arthur. "So." she grinned. "A little bird told me that it's your birthday."

"Yeah." he returned her grin. They were all too drunk to subtly look at her breasts, so had taken to staring to them directly. She sighed internally. At least it was better than watching them closely, trying to figure out if they were or weren't. Kirkland's...She thought dryly as she took Arthur's arm.

"Let me buy you a drink."

It was a struggle to lead him up to the bar. She was going to scold him for being so drunk so early, but it wasn't exactly like she could talk.

Seating him a bar stool, he told the bartender what he wanted, and they proceeded to settle into the type of silence that was only comfortable to one in a party of two. He happily drank away while she worked herself up over how she was to go through with it.

Slightly flustered, she ignored the fact the glass was unclean and took a large mouthful of beer before steeling herself. Turning to Arthur, she slipped from the stool and placed a hand on his arm. He looked to her, confused as she spun him around. She was slightly flustered, and had no clue how to begin, so she decided to just jump right in.

Smirking she pressed against him slowly, their eyes meeting. He was good looking after all, with piercing green eyes she was oh so familiar with, as well as sandy blonde hair, a cute face and a hard body (if what she could feel through their clothes was anything to go by.) "Seems good looks run in the Kirkland family." She purred out as she rose up, brushing her lips against his.

She leaned back after a good minute, surprised that the Kirkland felt so inexperienced. He seemed frozen, like he couldn't believe what had happened, and only when he regained himself did he blush furiously, pushing her away. "W-What the bloody hell are you doing!?"

She fell back a step, amused, and cocked her head to the side, a small smirk on her lips, "It's called a kiss Kirkland." She said teasing him as she moved closer. "I don't bite," She paused, her eyes glinting. "Well, at least, not too hard." She said with a honeyed purr.

"C-could you please stop that?" He turned his head away from her, reddening further.

She bit her lip, moving back, barely keeping herself from blushing, "Sorry, it was a dare." She said, frowning, now slightly guilty that she had gone through with it after seeing his reactions. "But, I must say, you aren't like the other Kirklands. You seem so...Innocent." She mused.

He turned back to her, his voice breaking as he drunkenly stuttered. "Y-You can't k-kiss me! I-I didn't want to kiss you. I don't even love you... You can't kiss me because I think I'm in love with..." He trailed off, tearing up.

Putting a hand on his and waiting for him to relaxed, she smiled at him, shaking her head."Kissing isn't always about love. Sometimes it just shows an attraction to someone." She said softly, "You're over thinking it, Kirkland." She said, smirking at his cute reaction

"I-I know... But I'm confused, bloody hell!"

Biting her lip she looked back up at him, a curious light in her ice-blue eyes, "Have you never done anything wild, or wanted to at least?" She asked softly.

'Es a Kirkland, love. What dae ya think?" At the sound of Allistor's amused voice they both froze, Arthur flushing red again, knowing from his brothers smirk and teasing eyes that he had seen everything. Mathia paled slightly. Though it was fun playing with the Kirkland's, she really didn't't want to come between them, as she had heard that their family bonds were stronger than anything.

Allistor chuckled at their reactions, asking the bartender for another finger of whiskey and ignoring the fluttering feeling of nervousness as he slid into the stool beside them.

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